I often hear from people that they thought that tantra was all about having sex, that it was about a practice, something that you do and inevitably a sexual practice. This can be the case especially when people aren’t having sex or where people are scared and confused to indulge in the very natural act of procreation.

At the heart of any practice, especially an ancient practice, it is always based on a philosophy which tries to encapsulate and guide the practice and ultimately tries to preserve the essence of the practice.

Around the age of three when children start touching their genitals, it is often met with shame, disgust or a taboo from the parents and caretakers. When children turn thirteen and their bodies are beautifully poised to reproduce then once again it is met with a rationalisation to first study, first enjoy your life, first develop your body, first have an income and then ultimately a religious ban on having sex before marriage.

Tantra is called upon to counterbalance the procreation instinct rationalisation as tantra is all about supporting our natural desires, to respect our bodies holistically, healthfully and expressively. The practice of tantric sex is not only a physical practice but also an emotional and energetic connection to the natural human instinct in our partner and in ourselves.

Tantra is a technique that hands people opportunities to explore the powerful possibilities of the natural procreation drive within them, to look within and observe their own shame, guilt and limited perspectives on partnering and sexuality. To become less judgmental and more curious about sexual preferences, fantasies and desires are all good signs that a person is embracing the procreation drive that is in them, without the rationalisation of what it should be.

Tantra and therefore tantric sex, allows people to have awareness about their natural human instinct which then supports the accepting, honouring and allowing themselves and their partners to be exactly who we are at any moment. Trust follows the insight that natural human instinct is pure and vital to our very existence. The less judgmental people are, the more intimate they can become with various partners and it’s during the celebration of intimacy that people make the most important discoveries about their deepest self.

When people get to the mental and spiritual healing aspects of a tantra practice, then they also discover the huge physical healing component of tantric sex. Having an orgasm is not the primary focus of tantric sex as it is more about being the orgasm instead. Once the practitioners of tantra techniques understand the importance of being present with their partner, when both partners look at instinct as a guiding light instead of looking at each other to end up with the blind leading the blind.

The exchange of energy and the enjoyment of the freedom of expression about sex stem from embracing the very essence of a life force, a procreation drive that flows through people. All physical sexual pleasure is not fabricated in their minds, it happens to them and through them. This moment of acceptance of the inevitable flow of life through us, then sex becomes a lot more blissful, with an increased vitality, an increased mental focus and heightened energy levels.


It is often said that tantric sex focuses on prolonging the sexual experience, which leads to increased intimacy and ultimately hands people better all-around health. This statement can be true but context is severely lacking as the concept of sex was not defined, neither was the concept of intimacy or health.

If sex is defined as penis in vagina then I think we mislead ourselves and this narrow definition places us on a road of having some sexual highs followed by the lows not to long after. If intimacy is defined as something between two people when in the sexual act, then sex and intimacy become synonyms of each other. If health is defined as the absence of illness then we are heading towards serious obstacles to overcome.

It is said that in ancient times, partners spent hours or days performing the sex act and therefore transformed it into a ceremony. This is true when one understands that meditation, yoga and tantra are based on needs in the hearts and minds of people to make sense of their natural human instinct. It isn’t about spending days making love, it is about spending time with your partner when the female is in ovulation so that both the male and female partners can be sure about who the biological father of the offspring is.

In our fast-paced modern lives, this could prove to be challenging as we have no idea, especially men, when the partner is ovulating. Modern technology tries to assist through sexting messages or sending sexy photos and then become physical later that day or even later that month. This usually caters for emotional bonding through sex and has nothing to do with the essence of sex.

Once physical interaction has begun then irrelevant rituals may include a body massage, watching porn, bathing together, BDSM bondage role-playing, feeding one another delicacies, stripping and admiring each other’s physical bodies, prolonged eye contact, making out, wild dancing, changing sexual positions frequently and maybe some sensation play like spanking.

Tantric sex is coined as a thoughtful and intentional sexual experience but unfortunately it leaves many people empty as it is anchored in mental games instead of being anchored in beautiful natural human instinct. Mental sexual games require that the next experience should be more, deeper, higher, louder or whatever the case should be.

Tantric sex is having sex when mediation techniques were practices to observe the full force of procreational instinct, when yoga was practiced to experience procreation instinct through every cell of the body and when tantra techniques were practiced to celebrate that intimacy exists between ourselves and everyone we come in contact with.


Sex isn’t penis in vagina only. Sex also happens when one body experiences the rush of hormones in the brain due to the presence of another person, any other person irrespective of age and gender. Cultivating our sexual energy, allowing natural human instinct to flow whenever it needs to flow and with whomever it needs to flow, those are the stimuli that become the triggers for the procreation chemistry in the brain.

Natural instinctual sexual expressions prompt the endocrine glands to release healthy hormones and associated chemicals as listed below:

Somatotropin: It also known as human growth hormone (hGH or HGH) in its human form, is a peptide hormone that stimulates growth, cell reproduction and cell regeneration in humans and other animals. It is thus important in human development.

Serotonin is most commonly believed to be a neurotransmitter, although some consider it to be a hormone. It is produced in the intestines and the brain. It is also present in the blood platelets and the central nervous system. Serotonin helps regulate mood, feelings associated with wellbeing, sexuality and appetite. It is also a natural sleep aid.

Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA): It is also known as androstenolone, is an endogenous steroid hormone. It is one of the most abundant circulating steroids in humans, in whom it is produced in the adrenal glands, the gonads and the brain. It functions as a metabolic intermediate in the biosynthesis of the androgen and oestrogen sex steroids both in the gonads and in various other tissues.

Oxytocin (Oxt): It is a peptide hormone and neuropeptide. Oxytocin is normally produced in the hypothalamus and released by the posterior pituitary. It plays a role in social bonding, sexual reproduction, childbirth and the period after childbirth. Oxytocin is released into the bloodstream as a hormone in response to stretching of the cervix and uterus during labour and with stimulation of the nipples from breastfeeding. This helps with birth, bonding with the baby and milk production.

Tantric sex isn’t responsible for the production, distribution, absorption or whatever of any of the above-mentioned hormones. Just being alive triggers the production and use of those hormones in the body. Any exercise can increase blood circulation, any simultaneous deep breathing helps to detoxify the body. Tantric sex hands people an opportunity to be aware of their minds, their bodies and their interactions. Tantric sex doesn’t hand you anything except opportunities, it just shines the light on what is happening in and through you.

Meditation, yoga and tantra are awareness techniques. The modern but wrong term is mindfulness, which is about intentionality and full presence. Awareness not only allows you to become completely relaxed, vulnerable and aware of yourself and everyone around you, it most importantly allows you to observe that you are more than your mind and your instinct, that you can only experience all of life through your body and that you are intimate with everyone who you are with.


Some ill-informed Western tantra teachers believe that tantric yoga features several concepts like asanas, mantras, mudras, bandhas and chakras. They also share that tantric sex is a slow form of intimacy that increases closeness and a mind-body connection that causes stronger orgasms. It is said that this combination of a stronger body, an alert mind and the connection with the spirit, along with multiple, powerful sexual orgasms, will allow loving couples lead an intimate and blissful life.

Tantra, whether it is tantric meditation, tantric yoga or tantric sex, has no interest in producing certain benefits in the lives of human beings. The registration of a benefit means that something was evaluated. Evaluation is a mental process as two or more aspects are compared with each other. Tantra hands opportunities to observe, to feel and to share what is and not what can be.

Some people claim that tantric sex has a rejuvenating effect, improving men’s and women’s health as frequent orgasms may alter body chemistry, which in turn cause depression and stress to disappear. This can be said of any form of activity, any form of touch between people and has nothing to do with tantra as such. The blatant use of spiritual and health jargon does not reflect on tantra but on the simple mindsets of the authors of these articles. Unfortunately, the recycling of existing and outdated concepts became the modern way to practice ancient awareness techniques.

Many times, tantric yoga and tantric sex focus on a woman’s sexual health and share the ultimate goal to greatly improve a woman’s health. It seems like women are ill, that they have a problem, that society should let go of everything and focus on women. This very issue gave rise to the origin of awareness techniques. Human beings are acutely aware that procreation instinct is using them to perpetuate life. Once people become aware of who they really are, where they are and with whom they are, that very moment they can embrace all that is in them and live an enlightened life.


Scientific medical studies found that sex stimulates blood circulation, detoxify the body through the breath and strengthen the cardiovascular, endocrine and nervous functions. Wilkes University found that making love at least twice per week releases an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA, which protects the body from illness.

All this sounds so amazing, so spiritual and so mindful but also so irritating. For the life of me I can’t understand why we need science to tell us who we intrinsically are. To have sex isn’t a scientific discovery, it is just a flow with the procreation instinct that flows through us. Sex is natural, it is part of life and it is just what it is.

Let’s look at orgasm and depression as science claims that orgasms help alleviate depression and it can also prolong your lifespan, strengthen the immune system and improve overall health. Let me try to put it in perspective as procreation is part of what it means to be alive. Even plants and animals procreate without someone telling them about the benefits of sex and orgasm.

No tantra teacher endeavours to define sex and orgasm. Sex isn’t only penis in vagina, it isn’t divine mindfulness regarding something very ordinary and it isn’t something you do to get an orgasm. What is an orgasm? Is it something that you feel, or allow or even manufacture? No one is willing to offer a benchmark against which we can measure whether something is sex or orgasm.

We are bombarded with statements that frequent orgasms may benefit a woman’s sexual health. We are even told that there is a vast difference between an ordinary orgasm and a tantric orgasm as ordinary orgasms last a short duration and remain isolated in the sexual organs while tantric sex orgasms involve the full body and last for hours.

We are told that according to ancient practices, to obtain the benefits of a tantric orgasm, the shakti energy and the rising kundalini must pierce each of the chakras as it ascends the spinal cord. It must reach the brain’s central nervous system and the hypothalamus and pituitary gland. What an amazing fruit salad of jargon that has no understanding of the essence of meditation, yoga and tantra techniques, whatsoever.

It made my day when I read the following: Disclaimer: The information contained on this site is intended for educational purposes only and this information is not a substitute for advice, diagnosis or treatment by a licensed physician. Seek prompt medical care for any health issues and consult your doctor before using alternative medicine. It is astounding that people dish out heaps of nonsensical drivel and then terminate the advice with a disclaimer.

Tantric meditation and tantric yoga are such absurd descriptions as neither yoga, nor meditation requires the help of tantra. Tantra teachers explain that one should master the flow of energy in the body and for that a certain commitment is required as tantra yoga is the discipline to be practiced. Tantra is a simple technique but no teacher shares the technique as they do not know the technique. Tantra gets linked to meditation and yoga as Western teachers seem unable to deal with tantra as an awareness technique.

We are told that committing oneself to tantra or yoga or meditation enables one to unlock hidden potential within one’s mind and body. It is said that specific changes can occur as you develop and the changes are:

·       the mind will expand

·       one will perceive energy in everything

·       energy will be controlled

·       one will overcome bodily disruptions

·       one will become aware of the soul

·       one will learn to know oneself on a spiritual dimension


An awareness technique is a technique that hands people an opportunity to observe, feel and share all that is flowing through them naturally. What is more natural than finding a partner, than making love, than having babies, than caring for the babies, than forming a group you can rely on and to identify a group you dislike?


How high do you fly with mental nonsense and how secure do you walk with natural human instinct?

-Martin du Toit