Research studies in Europe has shown that sexuality education does not lead to young people having sex earlier than is expected based on the national average but it can lead to later sexual entrance and more responsible sexual behaviour.
Sexuality education doesn’t deprive children of their childhood. To make available information on sexuality that is scientifically accurate, non-judgmental, age-appropriate and complete, even from the kindergarten age, is something from which children can benefit.
Sexuality education and an open attitude towards sexuality doesn’t make them an easy prey for paedophiles to abuse children. When children learn about equality and respect in relationships, they are in a better position to recognise abusive persons and situations and to report it.
Sexuality education is not damaging to children or adolescents as a range of age-appropriate topics are introduced. Four-year-old children learn about topics such as friendship, emotions and different parts of the body.
Other topics such as puberty, family planning and contraception are introduced much later as sexual relationships are built on principles similar to those of the social relationships learnt in early life.
Children are aware of personal sexuality long before they become aware of relationship sexuality. They develop the skills to understand their bodies, relationships and feelings from an early age, first as a personal sexuality and then later as relationship sexuality.
Meditation practices hand opportunities to observe the self, both in thoughts and instinct. Yoga practices hand opportunities to observe and learn that the care of others isn’t superior to self-care and tantra practices hand opportunities to learn skills on how to deal with the intimacy that exists between ourselves and the people we come in contact with.
Meditation, yoga and tantra in school-based sexual relationship education
School-based sexual education is an important source of learning about sex, sexual health and sexual relationships even in the light of the information explosion of the internet. There is a problem though as young people comment that they are feeling unprepared for positive relationships and good sexual relationships as information is given to them, received from the outside, instead of self-experienced and from the inside outwards.
Meditation, yoga and tantra are exceptional techniques that can hand young people opportunities to experience within their own minds, bodies and interactions. It also supports the learning of skills to express clearly what is in them and to understand the real context thereof.
Teenagers express a low rate of satisfaction and preparedness in the light of sexual health and relationships education they have received many years earlier. The quality of sexual health and sexual relationships education failed to provide young people with comprehensive sex education as it is mind based and not instinct based. Mind based sexuality education is always flimsy, ever changing, non-specific and impersonal. Instinct based sexuality education is stable, revealing, correct and real as it is from the core of the person that observations are made, experiences are decoded and future plans are constructed.
School-based sexual health and relationship education focus on a slender range of topics, particularly prevention/contraception, risks/unwanted pregnancy and dangers/STDs. This angle might ruin any willingness to trust and flow with natural instinct and to gain awareness about all that “is” and not only on what “should be”.
Teenagers find it hard to mention anything positive when describing their recollections of school-based sexual health and relationship education. The lack of teachings about the broader and more pleasurable aspects of sex, like masturbation, the simple exclusion of these topics in discussions foster some feeling of wrong and guilt for doing it.
The continued focus on messages of sexual ill-health and risk, over sexual-wellbeing and pleasure, is perhaps unintentionally reinforcing a moralistic and negative culture around sexual health. The practice of meditation allows youngsters to observe what they feel in their bodies and to take note of how they process it into negative or positive.
The realities of sex and sexual relationships, including aspects of open communication and broader instinctual wellbeing are repressed in educational institutions and adolescents are left feeling that sex and sexual relationships are awkward and unpleasant, exactly the opposite of what they have gathered from pornography.
There is a need for a holistic approach to sexual health and a focus on developing skills to deal with the emotional aspects of sex and that is exactly what awareness techniques like, meditation, yoga and tantra provide. Young people learn to observe what they think, feel and share before, during and after sex.
Teenagers who identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual, often feel particularly destitute and unprepared due to the narrow and hetero-normative content of a mind-based look at something that is intrinsically part of human reproductive, instinctual nature.
Sexual educators have to provide relevant information to young people as sex education can’t neglect non-heterosexual relationships and other forms of penetrative sex. I could not find any research that shows that sexuality education makes use of the primary driving force of sexuality, the ovulation cycle of the human female, to educate young people. It is as if the drive to reproduce just goes unnoticed and all can be explained in the form of mental patterns.
Meditation, yoga and tantra hand teenagers skills regarding learning “by doing”, pornography and sharing experiences with friends
The large gaps in sexual health and relationship education for young people may be a driver for seeking information from other sources, such as experiential, conversational and vicarious learning, in an attempt to better prepare for realities of sex and sexual relationships.
Male youngsters would be more likely to learn about sex experientially, while female youngsters may learn from other sources like a girlfriend, a book or videos as well. Female teenagers gained knowledge about sex and relationships through romantic literature, film, conversations with female friends and experience. The unfortunate aspect is that the real source of instinct, the reproductive drive coming from instinct, that it is not regarded as a reference as teenagers are told to use their mind-based logic instead of their natural awareness.
The likelihood of discussing sex with friends and how supportive and earnest those discussions were likely to be, took place amongst female teenagers as learning from friends acted as a wider practice of mutual emotional support. In contrast, male teenagers tend to discuss sex with male friends in dismissive or boastful terms, with conversations comprising performances of masculine competence rather than earnest exchanges of support
Should meditation, yoga and tantra be included in sexual education, then there are high hopes for youngsters to observe that women are operating as a representative of nature and men are the responders to that nature. Women do the selecting and men do the structuring of social aspects such as hierarchy in dominance structures.
Female teenagers are more likely to draw on friends for emotional and informational support and this fact highlights gendered communication norms as female youngsters are more orientated towards consensus and young men are orientated towards talking positively and constructively about their social status. The stigma about sexual inexperience drives young teenagers to be mortified to admit to a friend that he did not know about sex.
The natural procreative instinctual power to protect the masculine social status and the related incentive to overstate sexual experience could possibly compromise young men’s preparedness for healthy sexual behaviours and relationships. Healthy and critical awareness of these masculine norms can only be observed through meditation, yoga and tantra.
Male teenagers use pornography to learn about sexual norms and women’s bodies and the associated behaviour expected of men. Male teenagers eagerly want to learn how to respond to the signals send by women and as pornography makes successful use of this instinctual behaviour pattern, males feel that they can learn a lot.
When female researchers conduct interviews with female participants then it might have led to a reluctancy to talk about their own pornography use due to possible stigma and perceived gender norms around suitable femininity. The use of female researchers to conduct interviews with male participants might have led to the male teenagers to talk exaggeratedly about their own pornography use and associated knowledge.
Female teenagers express strong views against the consumption of pornography, particularly in relation to concerns about generating unrealistic expectations, from the side of the males and of themselves during sex and describe it as “imaginary sex”, something they do not want to compete with. Male teenagers do engage critically with regards to the dissonance between pornography and “real-life” sexual encounters. The natural human instinct to reproduce prompts an awareness of the limitations of pornography as a source of knowledge.
The use of pornography as a source of learning is frowned upon amongst leftist academics, as it is deemed to largely reinforce objectification, submission of women and male dominant gender norms about sex. It is unfortunate that masculinity is still treated as something that limits women where the opposite is the norm in human procreational instinct.
Meditation, yoga and tantra can make use of online technologies to change sexual learning practices
In recent years, modern digital technologies have become an important source of sexual health information as it presents simple learning opportunities to people seeking sexual health information. Teenagers even see it as a natural and obvious resource but they are also aware of the associated limitations.
Teenagers make regular use of the internet to research specific concerns about contraceptive use or STI symptoms as face-to-face communication about sexual health might be uncomfortable and anonymity of the internet comes as an escape from a tricky interaction situation. Youngsters value the freedom of being able to receive anonymous advice online as it is free from judgement, unlike face-to-face encounters.
The internet has become a valuable source of learning about sexuality and so are other aspects like learning about sex from school, friends and through experience. The internet is also seen as a potential risk rather than a learning resource, especially about pornography and its easy accessibility. I have to mention that recent studies in Scandinavia indicated that when sexuality becomes censored then the need for practical experience increases.
Public concerns about young people’s online safety are well recognised, particularly in relation to “grooming” to create sexually explicit material about themselves and to pass it on to others. The biggest culprit is the damage done around thirteen when teenagers are told to reject their instinctual reality and to only embrace a mind-based reality. When meditation, yoga and tantra are practiced then teenagers and their guardians will observe the naturalness of operating on both a mind-based as well as an instinct-based reality.
Despite the important role of online technologies in most people’s lives, accounts of flourishing sexual health and fulfilling relationships amongst young people remain low. Parents and older members of society do not radiate a joy about their own sexuality and it is no wonder that young people prefer to go their own way, to experiment with instinct, rather than following unappetising mindsets of others.
Schools need to keep pace with the contexts that are relevant to young people and need to include content on effectively and safely negotiating online risks and to maximise pleasure and wellbeing. Teaching digital literacy and media/porn literacy should be encouraged to prepare young people to navigate such information sources and the best way to do this is through awareness techniques of meditation, yoga and tantra.
Future research in the use of meditation, yoga and tantra.
More research is needed to discover the particular aspects of people’s sex lives that they find stressful and the types of help they are looking for. It is clear that people have corrupted their instinctual awareness about sexuality and transformed it into a mind-based consciousness. We find that an all embracing and accepting awareness about sexuality was diluted to represent concepts that can be boxed, labelled and explained.
At the age of three children are taught how to conduct themselves regarding the natural sexuality that surges in and through them. Most of the time the instruction is about negative guidelines on what not to do, rather than what to do. The shame the parents feel about their own inability about their own sexuality gets handed over to their children.
Many parents and caregivers commented that they feel the same reaction when observing copulating animals and children masturbating, a deep urge to stop them from doing it in public. The urge is to sanitise the action by preventing the children from enjoying their sexual awakening, it is followed by giving guidelines about when to do it and where to do it. The children learn that there is a mindset about sexuality that should be followed in an effort not to shame adults and themselves. Nature thrives on instinct as well as mental patterns and a “both” attitude should be advocated above an “either or” attitude.
Younger women whom are experiencing sexual difficulties are more likely than older women to seek help and both men and women who seek help via the internet also tend to be younger. The female body is experienced as a representation of nature and therefore reproduction is seen as an imperative step in grasping the meaning of life.
Current studies demonstrate an unmet requirement for help with sexual difficulties, also a need to provide a more sensitive measure of reaching young people, of more useful method of intervention and also of the planning and implementation of awareness-based education and not only mind-based education regarding sexuality.
Meditation, yoga and tantra are ancient awareness techniques that were developed by people to hand them opportunities to make use of shortcuts to connect with the flow of life according to their procreational instinct. People are the result of instinct, people are alive because of instinct and people aim to copy their genes by being in flow with their instinct.
It is irresponsible to tell young people that they can not reproduce at an early age and that a better dispensation awaits them if they do postpone their natural instinct and follow their mindsets of what can be. When young people have children then life is very hard for them. When they do not have children at a young age then life is also hard for them.
To take natural human instinct into one’s own hands and beat it into submission to a mental pattern of a better future, that is risky as it is inevitable that people will have many psycho-somatic illnesses and go through life as victims of addictions and sadness.
-Martin du Toit